She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
