dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize