if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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