Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
