But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Bring me that man meat
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
