She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
