I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
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