I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
