I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
