"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
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