The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
