oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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