How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
