Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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