the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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