HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
