Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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