Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize