i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
just found out that she named her cat after me.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
