used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
