Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
