I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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