We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
