I want to have your abortion
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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