i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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