I'm so fucking centered right now
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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