Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
