nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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