I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
