i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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