I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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