I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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