and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
