he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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