im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
