And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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