I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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