did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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