The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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