making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
