I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
