Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
