just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
