If i come over, it means nothing
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
