This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm at about main and main street
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
