Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
