he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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