I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
