He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
