why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
