Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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