I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
A+ Viking dick
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
