found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
