apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
