just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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