Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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