Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
