they need to just BURY HIM!
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
