She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
