Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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